That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
