yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
3 2 1 whiskey
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
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