Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
