We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Randomize
