I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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