3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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