maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
