Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
