I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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