I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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