Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
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The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
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So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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