I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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