I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Randomize
