he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
