There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
