so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
