thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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