Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
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I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
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put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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