I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
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I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
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I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Randomize