Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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