hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
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