If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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