I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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