On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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