Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
