one word: firstdatebathroomanal
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
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