He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Randomize
