i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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