I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Randomize
