Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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