i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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