We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
