And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
