I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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