Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
