he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
