Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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