Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
