508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I faked an abortion last night.
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
if only i could text you this smell
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Randomize