no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
