We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
