My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
