Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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