Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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