Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
