Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
