I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
