I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Randomize
