Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
she peed on how many people?
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
