so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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