You really coming over, don't trick.
mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
