please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize