remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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