Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(910): View more from North Carolina

the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...

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(336): View more from North Carolina

A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one

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(612): View more from Minnesota

Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...

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17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court
Read it at the TFLN blog
(513): View more from Ohio

NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...

(1-513): View more from Ohio

God I fucking love America.

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.

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(720): View more from Colorado

You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.

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(703): View more from Virginia

What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?

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(983): View more from

We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!

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