..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I have demons in me.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.