is your mom at the bar?
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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