All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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