Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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