you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
